Ways To Change a Habit (Part 5)

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE – WITHOUT SELF-JUDGMENT

Psychologists such as B.F. Skinner define learning as a stable change in behavior that comes as a result of practice. This idea is key to changing habits. Act on your intention. If you fail or forget, let go of any self-judgment. Just keep practicing the new habit and allow whatever time it takes to make a change.

Accept the feelings of discomfort that might come with a new habit. Keep practicing the new behavior, even if it feels unnatural. Trust the process. You will grow into the new behavior. However, if this new habit doesn’t work, simply note what happened (without guilt or blame), select a new behavior, and begin this cycle of steps over again.

Making mistakes as your practice doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. Even when you don’t get the results you want from a new behavior, you learn something valuable in the process. Once you understand ways to change one habit, you understand ways to change almost any habit.

Ways To Change a Habit (Part 4)

GET FEEDBACK AND SUPPORT

  

This is a crucial step and a point at which many plans for change break down. It’s easy to practice your new behavior with great enthusiasm for a few days. After the initial rush of excitement, however, things can get a little tougher. We begin to find excuses for slipping back into old habits: “One more cigarette won’t hurt.” “I can get back to my diet tomorrow.” “It’s been a tough day, I deserve this beer.”

One way to get feedback is to bring other people into the picture. Ask others to remind you that you are changing your habit. If you want to stop an old behavior, such as cramming for tests, then it often works to tell everyone you know that you intend to stop. When you want to start a new behavior, though, consider telling only a few people – those who truly support your efforts. Starting new habits might call for the more focused, long-lasting support that close friends and family members can give. Support from others can be as simple as a quick phone call: “Hi, have you started that outline for your research paper yet?” Or it can be as formal as a support group that meets once a week to review everyone’s goals and action plans.

You are probably the most effective source for your own support and feedback. You know yourself better than anyone else does and can design a system to monitor your behavior. Create your own charts to track your behavior or write about your progress in your journal. Figure out a way to monitor your progress.

Ways To Change a Habit (Part 3)

AFFIRM YOUR INTENTION  

You can pave the way for a new behaviour by clearing a mental path for it. Before you apply the new behaviour, rehearse it in your mind. Mentally picture what actions you will take and in what order.

Say that you plan to improve your handwriting when taking notes. Imagine yourself in class with a blank notebook poised before you. See yourself taking up a finely crafted pen. Notice how comfortable it feels in your hand. See yourself writing clearly and legibly. You can even picture how you will make individual letters: the e’s, i’s, and r’s. Then, when class is over, see yourself reviewing your notes and taking pleasure in how easy they are to read.

START WITH A SMALL CHANGE

You can sometimes rearrange a whole pattern of behaviours by changing one small habit. If you have a habit of always being late for class, and if you want to change that habit, then be on time for one class. As soon as you change the old pattern by getting ready and going on time to one class, you’ll likely find yourself arriving at all of your classes on time. You might even start arriving everywhere on time.

The joy of this process is watching one small change of habit ripple through your whole life.

Ways To Change a Habit (Part 2)

TELL THE TRUTH (please)

Telling the truth about any habit – from chewing our fingernails to cheating on tests – frees us. Without taking this step, our efforts to change might be as ineffective as rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Telling the truth allows us to see what’s actually sinking the ship.

When we admit what’s really going on in our lives, our defenses are down. We’re open to accepting help from others. The support we need to change the habit has an opportunity to make an impact.

CHOOSE AND COMMIT TO A NEW BEHAVIOR

It often helps to choose a new habit to replace an old one. First, make a commitment to practice the new habit. Tell key people in your life about your decision to change. Set up a plan for when and how. Answer questions such as these: When will I apply the new habit? Where will I be? Who will be with me? What will I be seeing, hearing, touching, saying, or doing? Exactly how will I think, speak, or act differently?

Take the student who always snacks when he studies. Each time he sits down to read, he positions a bag of potato chips within easy reach. For him, opening a book is a cue to start chewing. Snacking is especially easy, given the place he chooses to study: the kitchen. He decides to change this habit by studying at a desk in his bedroom instead of at the kitchen table. And every time he feels the urge to bite into a potato chip, he drinks from a glass of water instead.

Richard Malott, a psychologist who specializes in helping people overcome procrastination, lists three key steps in committing to a new behavior. First, specify your goal in numerical terms whenever possible. For example, commit to reading 30 pages per day, Monday through Friday. Second, observe your behavior and record the results – in this case, the number of pages that you actually read every day. Finally, set up a small consequence for failing to keep your commitment. For instance, pay a friend one quarter for each day that you read less than 30 pages.

Ways To Change a Habit (Part 1)

Consider a new way to think about the world habit. Imagine for a moment that many of our most troublesome problems and even our most basic traits are just habits.

That expanding waistline that is being blamed on a spouse’s cooking – maybe that’s just a habit called overeating.

That fit of rage that a student blames on a teacher – maybe that’s just the student’s habit of closing the door to new ideas.

Procrastination, stress, and money shortages might just be names that we give to collections of habits – scores of simple, small, repeated behaviours that combine to create a huge result. The same goes for health, wealth, love, and many other things that we want from life.

One way of thinking about success is to focus on habits. Behaviours such as failing to complete reading assignments or skipping class might be habits leading to an outcome that “couldn’t” be avoided – dropping out of school.

When you confront a behaviour that undermines your goals or creates a circumstances that you don’t want, consider a new attitude: It’s just a habit. And it can be changed.

Thinking about ourselves as creatures of habit actually gives us power. Then we are not faced with the monumental task of changing our very nature. Rather, we can take on the double job of changing our habits. One change in behaviour that seems insignificant at first can have effects that ripple throughout your life. If you’re an adult learner, you might gain special value from experimenting with new strategies for learning.

After interviewing hundreds of people, psychologists James Prochaska, John Norcross, and Carlo DiClemente identified stages that people typically go through when adopting a new behaviour. These stages take people from contemplating a change and making clear determination to change, to taking action and maintaining the new behaviour. Following are ways to help yourself move successfully through each stage.

The seven-day anti-procrastination plan

Listed here are seven strategies you can use to reduce or eliminate many sources of procrastination. The suggestions are tied to the days of the week to help you remember them. Use this list to remind yourself that each day of your life presents an opportunity to stop the cycle of procrastination.

MONDAY Make it meaningful. What is important about the task you’ve been putting off? List all the benefits of completing it. Look at it in relation to your short-, mid-, or long-term goals. Be specific about the rewards for getting it done, including how you will feel when the task is completed. To remember this strategy, keep in mind that it starts with the letter M, like the word Monday.

TUESDAY Take it apart. Break jobs into a series of small ones you can do in 15 minutes or less. If a long reading assignment intimidates you, divide it into two-page or three-page sections. Make a list of these sections and cross them off as you complete them so you can see your progress. Even the biggest projects can be broken down into a series of small tasks. This strategy starts with the letter T, so mentally tie it to Tuesday.

WEDNESDAY Write an intention statement. For example, if you can’t get started on a term paper, you might write, “I intend to write a list of at least 10 possible topics by 9 p.m. I will reward myself with an hour of guilt-free recreational reading.” Write your intention on a 3 x 5 card and carry it with you, or post it in your study area where you can see it often. In your memory, file the first word in this strategy – write – with Wednesday.

THURSDAY Tell everyone. Publically announce your intentions to get a task done. Tell a friend that you intend to learn 10 irregular French verbs by Saturday. Tell your spouse, roommate, parents, and children. Include anyone who will ask whether you’ve completed the assignment or who will suggest ways to get it done. Make the world your support group. Associate tell with Thursday.

FRIDAY Find a reward. Construct rewards to yourself carefully. Be willing to withhold them if you do not complete the task. Don’t pick a movie as a reward for studying biology if you plan to go to the anyway. And when you legitimately reap your reward, notice how it feels. Remember that Friday is a fine day to find a reward. (Of course, you can find a reward on any day of the week. Rhyming Friday with fine day is just a memory trick.)

SATURDAY Settle it now. Do it now. The minute you notice yourself procrastinating, plunge into the task. Imagine yourself at a cold mountain lake, poised to dive. Gradual immersion would be slow torture. It’s often less painful to leap. Then be sure to savor the feeling of having the task behind you. Link settle with Sunday.

SUNDAY Say no. When you keep pushing a task into a low-priority category, re-examine your purpose for doing it at all. If you realize that you really don’t intend to do something, quit telling yourself that you will. That’s procrastinating. Just say no. Then you’re not procrastinating. You don’t have to carry around the baggage of an undone task. Sunday – the last day of this seven-day plan is a great day to finally let go and just say no.

Stop Procrastination NOW (Part 2)

As promised balance 4, enjoy!

4. Let feelings follow action. If you put off exercising until you feel energetic, you might wait for months. Instead, get moving now. Then watch your feelings change. After five minutes of brisk walking, you might be in the mood for a 20-minute run. This principle – action generates motivation – can apply to any task that’s been put on the back burner.

5. Choose to work under pressure. Sometimes people thrive under pressure. As one writer put it, “I don’t do my best work under deadline. I do my only work under deadline.” Used selectively, this strategy might also work for you.

Put yourself in control. If you choose to work with a due date staring you right in the face, then schedule a big block of time during the preceding week. Until then, enjoy!

5. Think ahead. Use the monthly calendar or the long-term planner to list due dates for assignments in all your courses. Using these tools, you can anticipate heavy demands on your time and take action to prevent last-minute crunches. Make Planning Strategically “home base”, the first place to turn in taking control of your schedule.

6. Give up “some day”. Procrastination rests on this vague notion: I’ll do it some day. Other people reinforce this notion by telling you that your life will really start when you . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Fill in the blank with phrases like graduate from college, get married, have kids, get promoted, or retire.) Using this logic, you could wait your whole life to start living. Avoid this fate. Take action today.

7. Create goals that draw you forward. A goal that grabs you by the heart strings is an inspiration to act now. If you’re procrastinating, then set some goals that excite you. Then you might wake up one day and discover that procrastination is part of your past.

Stop Procrastination NOW (Part 1)

Consider a bold idea: the way to begin to stop procrastinating is to choose to stop procrastinating. Giving up procrastinating is actually a simple choice, and people just try to make it complicated.

Test this idea for yourself. Think of something that you’ve been putting off. Choose a small, specific task – one that you can complete in five minutes or less. Then do it today.

Tomorrow, choose another task and do it. Repeat this strategy each day for one week. Notice what happens to your habit of procrastination.

If the above suggestion just doesn’t work for you, then experiment with any strategy from the list below. (Just don’t put it off.)

1. Discover the costs. Find out if procrastination keeps you from getting what you want. Clearly seeing the costs of procrastination can help you kick the habit.

2. Discover your procrastination style. Psychologist Linda Sapadin identifies different styles of procrastination. For example, dreamers have big goals that they seldom translate into specific plans. Worriers focus on the “worst case” scenario and are likely to talk more about problems than about solutions. Defiers resist new tasks or promise to do them and then don’t follow through. Overdoers create extra work for themselves by refusing to delegate tasks and neglecting to set priorities. And perfectionists put off tasks for fear of making a mistake.

Awareness of procrastination styles is a key to changing your behaviour. If you exhibit the characteristics of an overdoer, for example then say no to new projects. Also ask for help in completing your current projects.

To discover your procrastination style, observe your behaviour. Avoid judgments. Just be a scientist and record the facts. Write Discovery Statements about specific ways you procrastinate. Follow up with Intention Statements about what to do differently.

3. Trick yourself into getting started. If you have a 50-page chapter to read, then grab the book and say to yourself, “I’m not really going to read this chapter right now. I’m just going to flip through the pages and scan the headings for ten minutes.” Tricks like these can get you started on a task you’ve been dreading. 

Stay tuned for the balance 4 . . . . . . .  

Strategies for Planning (Part 2)

4. Think even further into the future. To have fun ad unleash your creativity, set goals as far in the future as you can. The specific length of time doesn’t matter. For some people, long-range planning might mean 10, 20, or even 50 years from now. For others imagining three years feel right. Do whatever works for you.

Once you’ve stated your longest-range goals, work backward until you can define a next step to take. Suppose your 30-year goal is to retire and maintain your present standard of living. Ask yourself: “In order to do that, what financial goals do I need to achieve in 20 years? In 10 years? In one year? In one month? In one week?” Put the answers to these questions in writing.

5. Schedule fixed blocks of time first. When planning your week, start with class time and work time. These time periods are usually determined in advance. Other activities must be scheduled around them. Then schedule essential daily activities such as sleeping and eating. In addition, schedule some time each week for actions that lead directly to one of your written goals.

6. Set clear starting and stopping times. Tasks often expand to fill the time we allot for them “might become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Try scheduling a certain amount of time for a reading assignment – set a timer, and stick to it. Students often find that they can decrease study time by forcing themselves to read faster. This can usually be done without sacrificing comprehension.

The same principle can apply to other tasks. Some people find they can get up 15 minutes earlier in the morning and still feel alert throughout the day. Plan 45 minutes for a trip to the grocery store instead of one hour. Over the course of a year, those extra minutes can add up to hours.

Feeling rushed or sacrificing quality is not the goal here. The point is to push ourselves a little and discover what our time requirements really are.

7. Schedule for flexibility and fun. Recognize that unexpected things will happen and allow for them. Leave some holes in your schedule. Build in blocks of unplanned time. Consider setting aside time each week marked “flex time” or “open time.” Use these hours for emergencies, spontaneous activities, catching up, or seizing new opportunities.

Include time for errands. The time we spend buying toothpaste, paying bills, and doing laundry is easy to overlook. These little errands can destroy a tight schedule and make is feel rushed and harried all week, plan for them and remember to allow for travel time between locations.

Also make room for fun. Fun is important. Brains that are constantly stimulated by new ideas and new challenges need time off to digest them. Take time to aimlessly through the library, stroll with no destination, ride a bike, or do other things you enjoy. It’s important to “waste” time once in a while. To maintain flexibility and fun, be realistic. Don’t set yourself up for failure by telling yourself you can do a four-hour job in two hours. These are only 168 hours in a week. If you schedule 169 hours you’re sunk.

8. Involve other when appropriate. Sometimes the activities we schedule depend on gaining information, assistance, or direct participation from other people. If we neglect to inform them of our plans or forget to ask for their cooperation at the outset – surprise! Our schedules can crash.

Statements such as these often follow the breakdown: “I just assumed you were going to pick up the kids from school on Tuesday.” “I’m working overtime this week and hoped that you’d take over the cooking for a while,”

When you schedule a task that depends on another person’s involvement, let that person know – the sooner, the better.

Strategies for Planning (Part 1)

Planning sets you free. When you set goals and manage time, your life does not just happen by chance. You are on equal terms with the greatest sculptor, painter, or playwright. More than creating a work of art, you are designing life.

Without planning we fall prey to simply “digging in” – frantic activity with uncertain results. Planning replaces this with clearly defined outcomes and next action steps.

An effective plan is flexible, not carved in stone. You can change your plans frequently and still preserve the advantages of planning – choosing your overall direction and taking charge of your life. And even when other people set the goal, you can choose how to achieve it.

Planning is a self-creative venture that lasts for a lifetime. I am listing in my blog eight ways to get the most from this process. The first four are suggestions about goal setting. The rest are about the details of scheduling activities based on your goals.

1. Back up to a bigger picture. When choosing activities for the day or week, take some time to lift your eyes to the horizon. Step back for a few minutes and consider your longer – range goals – what you want to accomplish in the next six months, the next year, the next five years, and beyond. Ask whether the activities you’re about to schedule actually contribute to those goals. If they do, great some items from your calendar or to-do list to make room for goal-related activities. See if you can free up at least one hour each day for doing something you love instead of putting it off to a more “reasonable” or “convenient” time.

2. Look boldly for things to change. It`s fascinating to note the areas that are off-limits when people set goals. Money, sex, career, marriage, and other topics can easily fall into the category “I’ll just have to live with this.”

When creating your future, open up your thinking about what aspects of your life can be changed and what cannot. Be willing to put every fact of your life on the table. Staying open-minded can lead to a future you never dreamed was possible.

3. Look for what’s missing – and what to maintain. Goals often arise from a sense of what’s missing in our lives. Goal setting is fueled by unresolved problems. Incomplete projects, relationships we want to develop, and careers we still want to pursue.

However, not all planning has to spring from a sense of need. You can set goals to maintain things that you already have, or to keep doing the effective things that you already do. If you exercise vigorously three times each week, you can set a goal to keep exercising. If you already have a loving relationship with your spouse, you can set a goal to nurture that relationship for the rest of your life.